The Ched Reporter 2022
Sports:
Our top Mosh Sports reporters, Max and AP Zuchman, have been on the hunt to find what our chanichim in the ping-pong room have to say about the way things are. Here’s what they’ve been thinking:
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Football: Pretty fun but the fact that it is not a real football makes me mad. |
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Soccer: Uhhh I don't care. |
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Basketball: Good court to play on Ball is good Court hoop is too high up |
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Our Foosball tournament
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Op-Ed:
An intense debate spanning the course of many decades has ravaged the western world. Undiminishing in its ferocity, the clash between the airsip and the waterfall has shaped much of American pop culture, culminating most intensely at a humble camp in the Catskills. This debate finds itself held most prevalent at such camp due to the NJ/NY divide that embeds itself into the very fabrics that ties camper relations. A prime example of this can be seen during Lucille Ball, in which the two rivals quarrel, seemingly releasing all the pent up frustration from previous disputes about proper drinking etiquette. This will be a comprehensive review and comparison between the two.
Here is the perspective of an anonymous pro-airsipper:
“First we’ll be discussing verbiage. I mean, come on guys, ‘waterfall?’ It just doesn’t have that ring to it. Imagine you’re with your friend and you’re like ‘can I get a waterfall.’ Are you not embarrassed? Yikes. Three syllables too, that’s rough. Airsip is two, quick to the point and snappy; It makes you feel like you’re special. That’s lowkey my main point, but there’s also the logistical aspect to it. Like, sure the fact that the water’s falling makes sense, but that’s the best you could come up with? It’s bland and uncreative, and regarding the argument that airsips don’t make sense: They obviously do, like you’re not literally sipping air-that’s stupid; You’re sipping the water in the air, that’s the whole point. Open your mind a little, it’s not that hard to understand.”
On the other hand, watefall gives a strong argument as well. Here is what another anonymous chanich had to say about the issue:
“First of all, the phrase waterfall is so much more pleasing to the ear than Airsip. When you hear the word ‘waterfall’, it envokes images of beautiful waterfalls while airsip doesn’t help people visualize water falling from a bottle into someone’s mouth. Waterfall is a metaphor! When you waterfall, water is literally falling into your mouth, So the name waterfall is very fitting. ‘Airsip’ doesn’t even make sense! You’re not sipping air. Your’e sipping water. In terms of the logistical aspect of waterfalls, the water is falling from the bottle rather than you sipping it from the air. The airsip has proven time and time again that it is inferior to waterfall”
The extreme debate rages on with no end in sight. Hopefully, our moshava can one day see peace and not have to fight a battle of what we choose to call the airsip/waterfall.
-Itai Shargian and Becca Kolber
Comic Section:
AP and Max Zuchman
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Horoscopes: Reese Kurtz
Aries- You will make lemongrass tea
Taurus- You will clog the shack
Gemini- You will break your nose
Cancer- You will lose at ping-pong
Leo- You will lose one of your shoes
Virgo- You will fall asleep fast
Libra- You will be the best singer at shira
Scorpio- You will be firsti n line for seconds
Sagittarius- You will get poison ivy
Capricorn- You will fall in the mud
Aquarius- They will serve your favorite meal
Pisces- You will get water dumped on you
Fashion Quiz: May Rainbow
What is your go to shoe option?
- Socks and Sandals
- Rain Boots
- Crocs
- No Shoes!
How do you usually wear your hair?
- I wear it down
- In a ponytail/clip
- In a bun
- TZB cut
What is your main shirt option?
- Oversized hoodie/ sweater
- Just a t-shirt
- A chultzah
- A crop top
What is your main accessory?
- A fanny pack
- Friendship bracelets
- A hat
- A mysterious backpack
Food: Leora Ozsvath
The Mosh Food Limerick
I really love the mac and cheese
I’m not so sure about the peas
If someone stole
My big full bowl
I’d make them pay lots of big fees
There are 5 meals here:
Early morning cereal, (only come if you are up that early)
Breakfast, so hungry!!!!!
Lunch, hungry
Snack, sort of hungry
Dinner!!! hungry!!!!!
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Mosh’s food: I loved the pasta with red sauce and the mac and cheese. I don’t really like cereal. I don’t like corn. I love the veggies here and fruits. The pancakes are pretty good. I kinda like the peas. I don’t like the eggs but that might be because I am not feeling good. ALSO I was not feeling well with the bread, but I hate it. The hamburgers were pretty good sunday-tuesday. |
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THE AVERAGE MOSH FOOD IS GOOD!
-Leora
Interviews: How do you feel about the food at mosh??
- Best food in the world
- Ten thumbs up
- I liked it on monday
- “I personally don’t like most of the food” -Max in the kitchen
“I didn’t say that”- Max in the kitchen
The Mosh Daisy: Shaked’s Section
The New Shirutim Times
Bios:
May Rainbow-Zimmerman is a student at D.C. international school. They’ve been going to Mosh for the past four years, following the footsteps of their mother and sister.
Reese Kurtz is currently working part-time at The Ched Reporter and spends the rest of their time studying at PLS. She’s the child of Ilene, mosh’s lifeguard.
Shaked Jaffe-Oax is currently an intern at The Ched Reporter and is enjoying their experience. If she’s not working, Shaked can be found sleeping.
Isaac Katz is a photographer for The Ched Reporter . He is currently researching mosh events for the paper.
Max Zuchman is a sports enthusiast who also happens to like making comics. They are currently a student at Springfield Township Middle School.
A.P. Zuchman is working at The Ched Reporter and likes to spend their free time playing foosball. They are 11 years old.
Leora Ozsvath Manages the food section of the ched reporter. She likes to read and draw.
Tahel Bruria Rasouly works for the ched reporter as a Current Events journalist. They like to in their free time.
Itai Shargian is not yet a madrich.
Thanks for reading!
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